I went through the process of writing an essay—actually two essays—myself, in order to get a handle on your experience and the level of difficulty of this assignment. Thus, I have included things I have done as examples of what might be done. This is not for you to copy, but to consider when rewriting your own essays. My writing is done in bold on this blog, in Arial on the handout.
The Introductory Paragraph and Thesis Statement
1. Make the introductory paragraph/thesis statement short and sweet. Take a stand. Do not be too vague by saying things like”
Eavan Boland’s “The Pomegranate” contrasts with Rita Dove’s “The Bistro Styx” but they also have things in common.
2. Include the names of the poets (not authors) and the names of the poems too.
3. Do not include “proof” in the first paragraph.
4. Everything, from the first paragraph on, should remain in the present tense.
Here is my entire first paragraph:
While the myth of Ceres and Persephone lies at the hearts of both Eavan Boland’s “The Pomegranate” and Rita Dove’s “The Bistro Styx,”1 one narrator finds a kind of redemption in the myth while the other feels the pangs of an irreparable loss.
Supporting Paragraphs
Topic Sentences
1. First, because I instructed you to compare and contrast two poems by first addressing one and then the other, start by using evidence from one of the poems. Follow the same process when examining the other poem too.
2. Have a clear topic sentence. You may use partial quotations in the topic sentence but do not use quotations as the topic sentence. Besides, one of the things that I hope to accomplish is to teach you how to write good topic sentences on your own.
3. Topic sentences should be somewhat transitional—that is, they should connect to previous paragraphs.
Here are four of mine from the body of my essay:
Boland’s narrator refers to the myth as “The only legend I have ever loved” (1).2
1 Note that the quotation marks go outside the commas. I have not cited yet. When I do, that will change.
Next, she ties the myth of Persephone to that of Eve: “She put out her hand and pulled down/ the French sound for apple” (34-35).
While Boland’s mother walks the earth, Rita Dove’s narrator takes one step into the Underworld in “The Bistro Styx.”
One way that the daughter holds onto her reign is to avariciously attack the grotesquely described food set before her.
4. Note that all topic sentences are in the present tense.
5. The sentences get to the point quickly too.
Including Examples and Analysis within Individual Paragraphs
1. When in doubt, turn to the text. Read and then reread for greater understanding.
2. Avoid using really long quotations; instead consider partial quotations.
3. Make the quotations part of your sentence.
4. Do not restate quotations.
5. Do not use the word “state.”
6. Do not say, “This quote means” or “In this quote,” etc. Just say it.
This is my complete second paragraph:
Boland’s narrator refers to the myth as “The only [italics mine] legend I have ever loved3 (1). By the third line, she has also “found and rescued” her child—and even herself. The mother, once “an exiled child in the crackling dusk of / the underworld” (11-12) understands and accepts the process. She got through it, and so will her child. That does not mean that it will be easy, however. The mother who watches “my child asleep beside her teen magazines, / her can of coke, her plate of uncut fruit” (27-28), reminisces about how she used to carry her safely “back past whitebeams / and wasps and honey-scented buddleias” (17-18). Though the mother considers making “any bargain to keep her” (16), she does not, for she knows that their fates are “inescapable” (22).
2 Note that the quotation mark is inside the sentence this time. That is because I cited a line from the poem.
3 Though I have added emphasis by italicizing one of the words, the quotation speaks for itself. I do not then need to explain a strong quotation. Note that I added that the emphasis was mine, however.
Do you see how I am not explaining the first quotation? That is because it speaks for itself. This is my complete paragraph #4, the first half of the part of the essay that addresses “The Bistro Styx”:
While Boland’s mother walks the earth, Rita Dove’s narrator takes one step into the underworld in “The Bistro Styx.” And it really is a different world, a continent away from her American home, in Paris. Time separates them as well. This Persephone is a young adult. It has been a long time since this mother watched her daughter sleeping. As such, this mother feels alarmed by her daughter, noting that she is “thinner, with a mannered gauntness” (1). She becomes more alarmed when they meet across the table. “My blighted child,” she notes, is also “this wary aristocratic mole” (14), in that sense, no longer her child but a woman capable of making her own decisions. “Are you content to conduct your life / as a cliché and, what’s worse, / an anachronism, the brooding artist’s demimonde?” (17-19) the mother thinks and we all know that she wants to say it. As if reading her mind, the daughter makes an awkward defensive move: “’Tourists love us. The Parisians, of course’” (26). In the nick of time, the meal arrives, taking the focus off the current encounter and enabling the daughter to consider her next move.
Conclusions
1. Do not start with “In conclusion.” It’s boring.
2. Write a new topic sentence, preferably one that also includes a transition.
3. Do not repeat your thesis statement.
4. Take the arguments that you have built and then bring them together.
5. Write a “zingy” conclusion—one that resonates, one that makes the reader think.
Here is my final paragraph:
One of the problems with comparing these two poems is that the daughters are in very different stages of life. Boland’s girl is still safe at home while Dove’s daughter, no longer a girl but a woman, is abroad and involved in an adult relationship. As children, we owe our loyalties to our parents. That changes when we make an alliance with a spouse or significant other. And it needs to change, for if it does not, the adult relationships do not work. I wonder if Boland’s analysis of the myth would be as generous ten years later, when her daughter has left the safety of life under the suburban stars and ventured out onto a journey to places unknown.
Here is my complete essay:
The Myth of Persephone in Eavan Boland’s “The Pomegranate” and Rita Dove’s “The Bistro Styx”
Cynthia Losen
While the myth of Ceres and Persephone lies at the hearts of both Eavan Boland’s “The Pomegranate” and Rita Dove’s “The Bistro Styx,” one narrator finds a kind of redemption in the myth while the other feels the pangs of an irreparable loss.
Boland’s narrator refers to the myth as “The only legend I have ever loved” (1). By the third line, she has also “found and rescued” her child—and even herself. The mother, once “an exiled child in the crackling dusk of / the underworld” understands that the natural process is just at work (11-12). She got through it, and so will her child. That does not mean that it will be easy, however. The mother who watches “my child asleep beside her teen magazines, / her can of coke, her plate of uncut fruit” (27-28), reminisces about how she used to carry her safely “back past whitebeams / and wasps and honey-scented buddleias” (17-18). Though the mother considers making “any bargain to keep her” (16), she does not, for she knows that their fates are “inescapable” (22).
Next, she ties the myth of Persephone to that of Eve: “She put out her hand and pulled down / the French sound for apple” (34-35). The story of Eve is that of another child exiled from a parent/god. Eve, along with her husband, Adam, choose to taste forbidden fruit, often depicted as an apple. That choice results in expulsion from the Garden of Eden and exile from God the father. It also means entering a world where they will no longer be protected from pain and suffering and loss. Knowing this, this mother of “The Pomegranate” considers warning her child, but ultimately does not. After all, the mother survived in an underworld where “the stars [were] blighted” (12). As a result, her daughter’s experience has not been as harsh. Now it is the artificial lights of suburbia, along with its “cars and cable television” that “veil” the stars (44-45). Resigned to their fates, the mother decides not to “defer the grief,” for the experience will ultimately be for the girl, a “gift” (49). “The legend will be hers as well as mine,” she says, followed with a triumphant, “She will enter it. As I have. / She will wake up” (50-52). Thus in the end, it is not a curse, not a real loss, no real exile, but an experience that will be shared.
While Boland’s mother walks the earth, Rita Dove’s narrator takes one step into the underworld in “The Bistro Styx.” And it really is a different world, a continent away from her American home, in Paris. Time separates them as well. This Persephone is a young adult. It has been a long time since this mother watched her daughter sleeping. As such, this mother feels alarmed by her daughter, noting that she is “thinner, with a mannered gauntness” (1). She becomes more alarmed when they meet across the table. “My blighted child,” she notes, is also “this wary aristocratic mole” (14), in that sense, no longer her child but a woman capable of making her own decisions. “Are you content to conduct your life / as a cliché and, what’s worse, / an anachronism, the brooding artist’s demimonde?” (17-19) the mother thinks and we all know that she wants to say it. As if reading her mind, the daughter makes an awkward defensive move: “’Tourists love us. The Parisians, of course’” (26). In the nick of time, the meal arrives, taking the focus off the current encounter and enabling the daughter to consider her next move.
One way that the daughter holds onto her reign is to avariciously attack the grotesquely described food set before her. Even in the end, when the mother anxiously asks, “’But are you happy?’” (67), the daughter takes evasive action not by biting into a pomegranate but into a fig, and changing the subject. On the battlefield between childhood and adulthood, the daughter has outwitted her adversary. And her mother knows it. “I’ve lost her, she realizes, though, in the end resigns to the loss for it is the mother who pays the bill.
One of the problems with comparing these two poems is that the daughters are in very different stages of life. Boland’s girl is still safe at home while Dove’s daughter, no longer a girl but a woman, is abroad and involved in an adult relationship. As children, we owe our loyalties to our parents. That changes when we make an alliance with a spouse or significant other. And it needs to change, for if it does not, the adult relationships do not work. I wonder if Boland’s analysis of the myth would be as generous ten years later, when her daughter has left the safety of life under the suburban stars and ventured out onto a journey to places unknown.
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